Life has thrown me one big curve ball yet again. To sum up the last 7 months of life, I will just make a list.
Here goes; got a job, taught English, met amazing people, taught English to children, realized children are hard work, but lovely in their unique ways, tried to win back an ex love, failed at that, rediscovered amazing long lost friends in St. Petersburg, walked by the ocean, traveled to the mid-west for the first time, had a blast with Kevin at the Creation Museum in Lexington, KY, drank too much, fell in love with smoothies, moved in with Grandma and Uncle, fell in love with Grandma as a person, read fabulous books suggested to me by fellow travelers, got new job online; boring but worth the money, got new job with Leah; hard yet fun and sometimes worth the money, met cool coworkers, crashed my car, got a new scar, got paid $200 bucks for my scar, was thinking about the Peace Corps when I got smashed by the other driver, thankful to be alive and that she and her daughter were unscathed, went to a country concert, had a fun yet challenging rendezvous with another ex love, went on a strange first date that ended weirdly, dressed up in funny costumes, visited my loves in Gainesville, pranced around St. Petersburg, re-applied to teach in Colombia, waitlisted for aforementioned program, applied to work for Outward Bound, rejected from aforementioned program, applied for Peace Corps September 22, 2010, interviewed with my awesome recruiter October 10, 2010, finally nominated for Peace Corps November 1, 2010, went camping, rekindled romance :), had deep talks with my dad, got my scooter Trixie back, played in the park with Maura and Jenn, watched Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time with Allie, applied to a billion law schools, heard good news from some, bad news from others, visited my big Charlotte in Nashville, discovered new favorite beers and country music again, went to a cool concert with Maura, celebrated birthdays, went to Los Angeles, went to an amazing concert with Alex, got to see the famous UCLA basketball stadium, worked, worked, worked, Leah moved away, felt lonely, missed Australia, missed people who I no longer see, felt lucky, felt loved, felt needed, enjoyed holidays with family, laughed with friends, snuggled in warm socks, finished good books, spent money without thought, danced on a pole, laughed at myself, got a cavity filled, went on a fun ski trip in West Virginia with Mat Steve and Taylor, went snow streaking, fed a deer, ate seafood, worried about the peace corps, worried about law school, kissed my dog, Em mitt, re-designed my blog.
the end.
Peace Corps will be the new focus of my blog. Here is my current timeline:
09/22/10 - submitted application
10/10/10 - interviewed via skype
10/29/10 - final reference turned in
11/01/10 - nominated for Environmental Education and Awareness for Morocco March 2011
12/15/10 - medical packet received by Peace Corps Headquarters
12/16/10 - dental complete
1/08/10 - decision made on medical
1/11/11 - email from placement assistant asking for updated resume and skills addendum
1/12/11 - letter in mail confirms medical is complete
1/21/11 - email from placement officer asking to schedule interview
1/24/11 - 40 min interview with placement, basically re-nominated for community development with environmental focus leaving in late April for Central/South America
Now I wait.....
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
getting back into the swing...
So I know I still need to continue the story that is Indonesia, however, I have taken some time away to get my butt back to the USA. I am home now and so far it's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Let's face it though; when is my life not in the state of dire confusion and emotional turmoil? Thank goodness for dear and life long friends to sweep me away and bring my crazy head some clarity. I love you guys. I will be sure to update more, I am trying to be strong in my commitment to let go and let God in certain aspects and let nature take it's course. You never know where the future will find you.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
"The life is best, we got it!" - Stampy
After a fun-filled weekend in the Gold Coast, which I would describe as a prettier Orlando, FL with outstanding beaches, I was dropped off at the Brisbane airport by the lovely Nicole Green to meet up with Tiffani and depart on a truly unplanned journey to Bali, Indonesia. We purchased our tickets on Easter Sunday and since that time I had been plagued with worry and feared I would never be able to convince my travel partner that we should take the easy way out and book an all-inclusive tour. I didn't want to risk things and end up failing. I was worried, mostly just wishing I had a good guide to set me straight and tell me if anyone was about to rob my blind (flashback to Madrid on my Europe trip 2006). But, of course, Tiffani is stubborn and truly had her heart set on us doing this solo. And so we did.
The flight was made better, ok, enhanced, by tremendous amounts of alcohol and a very interesting flight attendant who was a budding author. We read one of his short stories from his own personal laptop and together, reading paragraph by paragraph, Tiffani, our new friend Kane and I started a booze driven bond that would conveniently last the duration of the flight to Denpasar airport. About 5 hours of drinking really makes time fly and we got to know Kane and our flight attendant pretty well. Kane was there for the surf and his brother owned a hotel somewhere on the island. We never quite made it to contacting either of them again, but we did have our good intentions. The airport in Denpasar was stuffy and the signs proudly displayed in broken English made us laugh as we waited to pay for our visas and pass through customs. Most people came with surfboards and a few others were there to party. Many families, mostly Japanese and Australian were also in tow. We got through and were immediately hit with a wave of extreme heat, the calls of money changers, and a crowd of men in blue taxi driver suits as far as the eye could see. Haggling was in store for us, but remember we were a bit buzzed and very tired and quite overwhelmed. This was my first real experience in Asia.
The cab drive into Kuta left me stunned. I must say I wasn't as much surprised by the dirt, poverty, or clear inequalities I saw, but rather in huge juxtaposition of beautiful Hindu sculpture and a HardRock Cafe and a Starbucks. It sorta made me sick. Motorbikes are like a heavy cloud of flies darting next to our car and all the while Tiffani is chatting up our cabbie and getting the hang of some key phrases in Indonesian. I can't even think about that right now, I am too drawn to the vista outside my window. The beach looks grimy and here we are in Kuta. I was not sure if I would enjoy this place, it certainty wasn't the pristine beaches and jungles I had imagined. Or had I even imagined much at this point? I mean sure I had googled a few spots in Bali, but my main introduction to this country was from Elizabeth Gilbert's book "Eat, Pray, Love" and I don't think she ventured into the tourist shit-hole that is Kuta.
I definitely didn't nor haven't since wrote off this city. It has it's purpose and it's fun to be had. We found Wes, Tiffani's friend from OZ at the hotel down some alleyway and he hastily showed us our room before he ran off to some spa, never to be seen again. Well sorta, at least until the next day. Without knowing what to do, we grabbed some Bintang, the one and only beer served in Indonesia, and jumped into the pool. Why not? It was filled with about 7 dudes and no girls. We were still buzzed from the plane and I was on the verge of a breakdown when I saw we had no towels or real sheets in our hotel room (my bed affectionately had what I call the blood stain) and we had to pay for our own toilet paper. Sounds rough, but it was really a nicer version of a camp cabin. Plus we got mosquito netting on the windows, Score! In the pool we made some friends, or should I say Tiffani made the friends. I am not as good at striking up conversations as she is and luckily met many people because of her initial eagerness to learn as much as possible from fellow travelers. The boys from the pool, agreed to show us a good spot to eat, and before we had been in the pool for long it began pouring rain. The rainy season was not soon ending. We chilled out in the pool for a bit knowing we only had a cold shower to go back to in the room and then attempted to clean up a bit for dinner. I never really considered myself "clean" for the entire duration of the trip by the way
So within a few hours of leaving Australia, I had basically done just as my mother had warned me I would do. I drank profusely, had no real guide in Tiffani's friend Wes, and has jumped three deep on the back of a motorbike with a British dude who had never been to an orthodontist to arrive shakily at some random restaurant from which I definitely could not have walked back to the hotel despite the close proximity. Oh yeah, in the rain. Adventure here I come. I decided to embrace it all, even the strange chicken curry with bits of meat that were for all intents and purposes shady at best. Oh well. These boys were really nice, not at all threatening, and offering to show us a good time in this hole they had been living in for months. They were prisoners here, not able to get a flight back to England with the volcanic ash flooding the skies, but happy captives for sure. Surf, motorbike, eat, sleep, party and do it all for cheap. Indonesia was looking up.
The quote in the title comes from a quote written in our dresser in the hotel. "The life is best, We got it! Just an advice, don't put life ... "and something about living in the present. All by a dude named Stampy. AMAZING in the since that this guy was probably in a state of euphoria and his english suffered. It was amusing and more positive than the anonymous quote "get out of Kuta now, this place is shit" an opinion I really didn't understand until I saw more of the country.
More to come...
The flight was made better, ok, enhanced, by tremendous amounts of alcohol and a very interesting flight attendant who was a budding author. We read one of his short stories from his own personal laptop and together, reading paragraph by paragraph, Tiffani, our new friend Kane and I started a booze driven bond that would conveniently last the duration of the flight to Denpasar airport. About 5 hours of drinking really makes time fly and we got to know Kane and our flight attendant pretty well. Kane was there for the surf and his brother owned a hotel somewhere on the island. We never quite made it to contacting either of them again, but we did have our good intentions. The airport in Denpasar was stuffy and the signs proudly displayed in broken English made us laugh as we waited to pay for our visas and pass through customs. Most people came with surfboards and a few others were there to party. Many families, mostly Japanese and Australian were also in tow. We got through and were immediately hit with a wave of extreme heat, the calls of money changers, and a crowd of men in blue taxi driver suits as far as the eye could see. Haggling was in store for us, but remember we were a bit buzzed and very tired and quite overwhelmed. This was my first real experience in Asia.
The cab drive into Kuta left me stunned. I must say I wasn't as much surprised by the dirt, poverty, or clear inequalities I saw, but rather in huge juxtaposition of beautiful Hindu sculpture and a HardRock Cafe and a Starbucks. It sorta made me sick. Motorbikes are like a heavy cloud of flies darting next to our car and all the while Tiffani is chatting up our cabbie and getting the hang of some key phrases in Indonesian. I can't even think about that right now, I am too drawn to the vista outside my window. The beach looks grimy and here we are in Kuta. I was not sure if I would enjoy this place, it certainty wasn't the pristine beaches and jungles I had imagined. Or had I even imagined much at this point? I mean sure I had googled a few spots in Bali, but my main introduction to this country was from Elizabeth Gilbert's book "Eat, Pray, Love" and I don't think she ventured into the tourist shit-hole that is Kuta.
I definitely didn't nor haven't since wrote off this city. It has it's purpose and it's fun to be had. We found Wes, Tiffani's friend from OZ at the hotel down some alleyway and he hastily showed us our room before he ran off to some spa, never to be seen again. Well sorta, at least until the next day. Without knowing what to do, we grabbed some Bintang, the one and only beer served in Indonesia, and jumped into the pool. Why not? It was filled with about 7 dudes and no girls. We were still buzzed from the plane and I was on the verge of a breakdown when I saw we had no towels or real sheets in our hotel room (my bed affectionately had what I call the blood stain) and we had to pay for our own toilet paper. Sounds rough, but it was really a nicer version of a camp cabin. Plus we got mosquito netting on the windows, Score! In the pool we made some friends, or should I say Tiffani made the friends. I am not as good at striking up conversations as she is and luckily met many people because of her initial eagerness to learn as much as possible from fellow travelers. The boys from the pool, agreed to show us a good spot to eat, and before we had been in the pool for long it began pouring rain. The rainy season was not soon ending. We chilled out in the pool for a bit knowing we only had a cold shower to go back to in the room and then attempted to clean up a bit for dinner. I never really considered myself "clean" for the entire duration of the trip by the way
So within a few hours of leaving Australia, I had basically done just as my mother had warned me I would do. I drank profusely, had no real guide in Tiffani's friend Wes, and has jumped three deep on the back of a motorbike with a British dude who had never been to an orthodontist to arrive shakily at some random restaurant from which I definitely could not have walked back to the hotel despite the close proximity. Oh yeah, in the rain. Adventure here I come. I decided to embrace it all, even the strange chicken curry with bits of meat that were for all intents and purposes shady at best. Oh well. These boys were really nice, not at all threatening, and offering to show us a good time in this hole they had been living in for months. They were prisoners here, not able to get a flight back to England with the volcanic ash flooding the skies, but happy captives for sure. Surf, motorbike, eat, sleep, party and do it all for cheap. Indonesia was looking up.
The quote in the title comes from a quote written in our dresser in the hotel. "The life is best, We got it! Just an advice, don't put life ... "and something about living in the present. All by a dude named Stampy. AMAZING in the since that this guy was probably in a state of euphoria and his english suffered. It was amusing and more positive than the anonymous quote "get out of Kuta now, this place is shit" an opinion I really didn't understand until I saw more of the country.
More to come...
brief update on life
Hello again. I obviously have taken some time away from blogging, but for very good reason. I last wrote the week before I departed on a very impromptu journey to Indonesia. This journey, unlike much of my experiences in Australia, was very unstructured, I was not catered to, and it was all together a bit rough and in some cases more dangerously thrilling. I think the added discomfort that my parents refused to accept my travel plans made it all the more compelling of a destination (sorry mom and dad). I have taken a few weeks since my trip to get back into the swing of things here in Melbourne and reflect on everything slowly. I have a tendency to get over-excited when I first return from a trip and as much as I wanted to capture that enthusiasm in a blog post, I figured I should cool it a bit and see how the experience is retold after truly setting in.
So in the next few posts I will attempt to tell the story of Bali, Indonesia; the ups and downs, near downfalls of friendships, and near catastrophic motorbike endeavors. The friendships I made along the way are both astounding and unexpected. Basically, I found what I was looking for this semester, and it wasn't in Australia. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely blessed and thankful, but just as I am learning, from one of my favorite quotes "God hates control freaks," planning an external trip to have an internal effect is futile. God works in mysterious ways and that is something I truly learned. The purpose of this is that. It's never what we intend and things are always leading to the next domino down the road.
Well right now my controlling nature is getting the best of me and I am truly starting to dread home because of the uncertainty it brings. Where will I work?, who will still be in my life? Will I have lost many dear friendships? Will new ones take me completely by surprise? Will my family be happy to have me back, or ready for me to move on again? Where will I even be living? It's sorta up in the air at present. Maybe I should take my own advice and just let God take me where HeShe wants me to go. I feel renewed. My new spiritual high comes directly from travel that is true, but not all types of travel apparently. Independence and uncertainty and conquering fears seem to factor into it all. Australia has not been a place of real independence or growth, but I have learned a lot and led a privileged existence. I have learned the value of friendship and seen people come from near and far to recreate the magic of friendships that were forged less than a year ago at a camp far, far away. I have learned about immense generosity and met a multitude of lively and happy people. I have been humbled by the world's knowledge on politics, geography and culture. When a random Australian man who learned I am from Tampa Bay, FL comments about how I must be affected by the tragic oil spill in the Gulf, I am a bit taken aback. Would anyone in Tampa Bay, FL be able to comment or wish the same condolences if a similar tragedy occurred off the coast of Melbourne? I don't really think so. So here I am, one week till departure, feeling a bit confused and a bit guilty. Happy about Indonesia, confused about Australia, ready to move home, yet concerned, hoping that the bonds I have forged here are not in vain. Not sure if I will make it over to this side of the world again. I think I have a lot still to learn from this country and its people, but feel equally about many places. The U.S. is a strange fishbowl and I don't necessarily think we have it right.
To avoid another tangent I will simply say, the next few posts will be recapping my amazing experiences in Indonesia. However, it may be difficult not to continue commenting on the present as this is the lens through which I am reflecting and the existence I am chosing to live in, the now. I am feeling like I have things sorted out more than I had previously to my adventure. That's a definite plus right now :)
So in the next few posts I will attempt to tell the story of Bali, Indonesia; the ups and downs, near downfalls of friendships, and near catastrophic motorbike endeavors. The friendships I made along the way are both astounding and unexpected. Basically, I found what I was looking for this semester, and it wasn't in Australia. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely blessed and thankful, but just as I am learning, from one of my favorite quotes "God hates control freaks," planning an external trip to have an internal effect is futile. God works in mysterious ways and that is something I truly learned. The purpose of this is that. It's never what we intend and things are always leading to the next domino down the road.
Well right now my controlling nature is getting the best of me and I am truly starting to dread home because of the uncertainty it brings. Where will I work?, who will still be in my life? Will I have lost many dear friendships? Will new ones take me completely by surprise? Will my family be happy to have me back, or ready for me to move on again? Where will I even be living? It's sorta up in the air at present. Maybe I should take my own advice and just let God take me where HeShe wants me to go. I feel renewed. My new spiritual high comes directly from travel that is true, but not all types of travel apparently. Independence and uncertainty and conquering fears seem to factor into it all. Australia has not been a place of real independence or growth, but I have learned a lot and led a privileged existence. I have learned the value of friendship and seen people come from near and far to recreate the magic of friendships that were forged less than a year ago at a camp far, far away. I have learned about immense generosity and met a multitude of lively and happy people. I have been humbled by the world's knowledge on politics, geography and culture. When a random Australian man who learned I am from Tampa Bay, FL comments about how I must be affected by the tragic oil spill in the Gulf, I am a bit taken aback. Would anyone in Tampa Bay, FL be able to comment or wish the same condolences if a similar tragedy occurred off the coast of Melbourne? I don't really think so. So here I am, one week till departure, feeling a bit confused and a bit guilty. Happy about Indonesia, confused about Australia, ready to move home, yet concerned, hoping that the bonds I have forged here are not in vain. Not sure if I will make it over to this side of the world again. I think I have a lot still to learn from this country and its people, but feel equally about many places. The U.S. is a strange fishbowl and I don't necessarily think we have it right.
To avoid another tangent I will simply say, the next few posts will be recapping my amazing experiences in Indonesia. However, it may be difficult not to continue commenting on the present as this is the lens through which I am reflecting and the existence I am chosing to live in, the now. I am feeling like I have things sorted out more than I had previously to my adventure. That's a definite plus right now :)
Monday, April 12, 2010
life on the edge... the very down under
Wow, what a weekend! Seeing the Great Ocean Road and the "arguably most photographed coastline in Australia" was pretty amazing. I can see why this country is known for such postcard perfect scenes. Hiking through the rain to see two waterfalls was also a treat. Maybe there is more to experience outside my pent up world and I am finally starting to see it all. Keeping an open mind is essential.
I am still convinced this is a parallel universe, and for me especially it really is. There is a famous episode of the Twilight Zone ( got to love Rod Serling) in which an astronaut travels and crashes on a planet exactly like earth, except for a few small changes. That is what Australia continues to feel like for me. There is no replacement for home, but for America, I would say this one is not far off. And the food is arugably better. Never thought I would enjoy a meat pie with tomato sauce as much as I have. But I am still missing home like crazy. I just feel that I am adjusting to being here and being on my own. It's not perfect, but it is pretty typical of the life of someone who graduated early on a whim, without a clue.
Got news today that one of my dear friends landed a job in LA. A dream that seemed unreachable has begun, truly doors are opening. I think this is pretty amazing and says something about determination and believing in yourself. I am not quite sure what my dream is now. I can say that it probably is much more mundane than any high end respectable job or a glamorous zip code. But then again, maybe it is the more unattainable. Is love and happiness too much to hope for? I hope not.
Strange that I feel like in some ways I am hiding from the goodbyes. All my college friends getting jobs and moving on in the world. I am missing it all. Happily, the only people at my graduation were family, and one friend who felt like family for awhile. I don't like the spotlight and I don't like saying goodbyes. Acknowledging I am moving on in life is hard enough, so is spending the early hours of morning hungover in a crowd of people wearing identical blue moomoos with silly hats. At least I didn't trip.
It's bittersweet. I cry at stuff like that. This weekend I got into a deep conversation about family and love. I guess when I start drinking my pent up frustration or cynicism tumble out like dirty laundry. It's hard for me to think about my parents ever or still loving each other. Or about my family being one family. Maybe more of a Venn diagram. I cry when things are happy rather than sad. Seems strange but that's along the lines of how I think. I think a family can be defined by a lot more than just genetics. It's a beautiful thing.
I don't really have one point or theme to this blog. I just felt like checking in. I can't wait to raise a toast to my friends who feel like family. I love you guys.
peace.
I am still convinced this is a parallel universe, and for me especially it really is. There is a famous episode of the Twilight Zone ( got to love Rod Serling) in which an astronaut travels and crashes on a planet exactly like earth, except for a few small changes. That is what Australia continues to feel like for me. There is no replacement for home, but for America, I would say this one is not far off. And the food is arugably better. Never thought I would enjoy a meat pie with tomato sauce as much as I have. But I am still missing home like crazy. I just feel that I am adjusting to being here and being on my own. It's not perfect, but it is pretty typical of the life of someone who graduated early on a whim, without a clue.
Got news today that one of my dear friends landed a job in LA. A dream that seemed unreachable has begun, truly doors are opening. I think this is pretty amazing and says something about determination and believing in yourself. I am not quite sure what my dream is now. I can say that it probably is much more mundane than any high end respectable job or a glamorous zip code. But then again, maybe it is the more unattainable. Is love and happiness too much to hope for? I hope not.
Strange that I feel like in some ways I am hiding from the goodbyes. All my college friends getting jobs and moving on in the world. I am missing it all. Happily, the only people at my graduation were family, and one friend who felt like family for awhile. I don't like the spotlight and I don't like saying goodbyes. Acknowledging I am moving on in life is hard enough, so is spending the early hours of morning hungover in a crowd of people wearing identical blue moomoos with silly hats. At least I didn't trip.
It's bittersweet. I cry at stuff like that. This weekend I got into a deep conversation about family and love. I guess when I start drinking my pent up frustration or cynicism tumble out like dirty laundry. It's hard for me to think about my parents ever or still loving each other. Or about my family being one family. Maybe more of a Venn diagram. I cry when things are happy rather than sad. Seems strange but that's along the lines of how I think. I think a family can be defined by a lot more than just genetics. It's a beautiful thing.
I don't really have one point or theme to this blog. I just felt like checking in. I can't wait to raise a toast to my friends who feel like family. I love you guys.
peace.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Friday morning meandorings.
I feel compelled to write. I wish I felt this sentiment more often. In this world where people just click, and suddenly a sentence is shot out into the webspace and their feelings are broadcasted far and wide. Seems too easy, instantly gratifying, an emotion starved down to a status bar. I rely too heavily on that instant form of expression at times. It is only momentarily gratifying.
Little things appear to me everyday and I can't help but realize that I am changing. I pronounced avocado like an Aussie when ordering a chicken sandwich. Americans say OVocado and Aussies say aaaavocado. I understand slang words and concepts and attend "wog" parties. I befriend other immigrants from all over the world. I am a cleaning lady. I feel less bound to concepts of home and catch myself saying how things are different for us .... in the states, as if I have trouble defining which US i am referencing.
I learn tidbits of life skills. How to drink soup without getting burned, how to chop vegetables correctly, how to do everything "correctly." My own ways are getting broken down.
Having a bit of difficulty still in one regard. Seeing myself as an adult. It's a scary concept. Not that you ever have to stop acting like a child, or in the more positive sense, being childlike. However, there is a point where you have to choose to embrace your new identity as an adult and realize your power and influence on the world. Life is set up rather logically, mostly to protect you and avoid conflict. You can not be expected to jump right in and rule the roost. You grow up. You hang around and observe how things work, the rules or the game and how it works. Then you act. I have acted, I booked a plane, I graduated from college, I didn't get lost in the world (at least in a physical sense) and occasionally I do housework. Sometimes without even being asked.
I was recently asked "how do you see yourself, Natalie?" I had to think about it. I have a very clear memory of being 13 years old. I was in an awkward phase to say the least. I thought I could see indications that I was growing up. I finally had learned to control my tangled locks of hair, I was experimenting with makeup, I wore a preteen sized bra. I felt familiar, yet different. Shifted. I was in Arizona visiting family when I had this realization and distinctly recall staring at myself in the mirror before we left to catch our plane home. I stared and stared and tried to burn the vision of myself in the mirror into my memory. Not sure if I could tell whey at the moment, but to this day I still remember exactly what I was wearing. A red strappy top, bra straps undoubtedly showing, blue jean shorts, some god awful neckless and hair clips.
How do I see myself now? I wish I had a better take on that question. I still think of myself as a slightly larger teenager. Maybe the root of my self consciousness about my body. For a fifteen year old I would be pretty womanly. Young lady is a better term, I have been called that since I was in elementary school, usually when being reprimanded. Apparently, I have no idea how to identify myself. Twenty-two is a strange realm of existence.
More about Melbourne. I do like life here, despite my protests to the contrary. I do not like feeling trapped and unable to tap into the lives of people back home. The internet is good for the superficial, not the deep stuff. I love Vegemite and toast. And lamb. I like the eclectic styles and music on the radio. Even Richard Mercia with his droning melodious voice full of enthusiasm for the lovers of the world. I think you'd have to be here to get it. I got myself lost by following the Garmin and found my way on my own. Strange how that can be. Wish I could apply that inner logic to my life journey. Maybe I already have.
Watermelon is the most effective way to relieve the thirst that comes with a hangover. Just thought you should know.
Nat Attack.
Little things appear to me everyday and I can't help but realize that I am changing. I pronounced avocado like an Aussie when ordering a chicken sandwich. Americans say OVocado and Aussies say aaaavocado. I understand slang words and concepts and attend "wog" parties. I befriend other immigrants from all over the world. I am a cleaning lady. I feel less bound to concepts of home and catch myself saying how things are different for us .... in the states, as if I have trouble defining which US i am referencing.
I learn tidbits of life skills. How to drink soup without getting burned, how to chop vegetables correctly, how to do everything "correctly." My own ways are getting broken down.
Having a bit of difficulty still in one regard. Seeing myself as an adult. It's a scary concept. Not that you ever have to stop acting like a child, or in the more positive sense, being childlike. However, there is a point where you have to choose to embrace your new identity as an adult and realize your power and influence on the world. Life is set up rather logically, mostly to protect you and avoid conflict. You can not be expected to jump right in and rule the roost. You grow up. You hang around and observe how things work, the rules or the game and how it works. Then you act. I have acted, I booked a plane, I graduated from college, I didn't get lost in the world (at least in a physical sense) and occasionally I do housework. Sometimes without even being asked.
I was recently asked "how do you see yourself, Natalie?" I had to think about it. I have a very clear memory of being 13 years old. I was in an awkward phase to say the least. I thought I could see indications that I was growing up. I finally had learned to control my tangled locks of hair, I was experimenting with makeup, I wore a preteen sized bra. I felt familiar, yet different. Shifted. I was in Arizona visiting family when I had this realization and distinctly recall staring at myself in the mirror before we left to catch our plane home. I stared and stared and tried to burn the vision of myself in the mirror into my memory. Not sure if I could tell whey at the moment, but to this day I still remember exactly what I was wearing. A red strappy top, bra straps undoubtedly showing, blue jean shorts, some god awful neckless and hair clips.
How do I see myself now? I wish I had a better take on that question. I still think of myself as a slightly larger teenager. Maybe the root of my self consciousness about my body. For a fifteen year old I would be pretty womanly. Young lady is a better term, I have been called that since I was in elementary school, usually when being reprimanded. Apparently, I have no idea how to identify myself. Twenty-two is a strange realm of existence.
More about Melbourne. I do like life here, despite my protests to the contrary. I do not like feeling trapped and unable to tap into the lives of people back home. The internet is good for the superficial, not the deep stuff. I love Vegemite and toast. And lamb. I like the eclectic styles and music on the radio. Even Richard Mercia with his droning melodious voice full of enthusiasm for the lovers of the world. I think you'd have to be here to get it. I got myself lost by following the Garmin and found my way on my own. Strange how that can be. Wish I could apply that inner logic to my life journey. Maybe I already have.
Watermelon is the most effective way to relieve the thirst that comes with a hangover. Just thought you should know.
Nat Attack.
Monday, March 29, 2010
"We are never what we intend or invent"
So once again I have turned away from this form of therapeutic venting and had to deal with the unnecessary mental anguish. Grrr. I am back to blogging because it keeps me sane in some regard. I am currently watching an old Friends episode about these 20-something girls getting drunk and worrying about how they don't have a life plan. I believe the word Phoebe used was that their lives were "Floopy" which I think describes what I am feeling pretty perfectly.
Being 22 and out of college sounded like a dream come true. However, I am starting to agree with the idea that youth is wasted on the young because we have no wisdom to live life to the fullest by any degree. Here I have been sitting in OZ and I have been anything but joyous. I have not "found myself" and most of the knowledge I have acquired so far seems to be pretty depressing. This was probably to be expected. Following your ideals into a fantasy world has got to crash and burn sometime. At least I am not being relied upon as a responsible adult by any means at the moment.
Time is flying by and already I am considering an early departure from this holiday. More time home getting in touch with my roots may do me some good before shipping off again. I guess I am just searching for love and even if that is just from my family I am ok with that. It's not here and I am not feeling any more alive than I did at home.
That is not to say that this experience is over yet. I have a lot of traveling to do and a lot of self-seeking to do. I am hoping to get to Tasmania and the Great Barrier Reef asap. Luckily I have some pretty sweet friends who want to accompany me. I am pretty blessed for the support and companionship to say the very least.
I think my major deficit right now is that I feel spiritually depleted. I miss the days were I could go on some religious retreat and renew whatever hope I had in this world on a deeper level. I am not saying I am seeking religion, just an inner compass. I feel like in not knowing myself, I also don't know who I am or where I know I am going.. roughly.
Being 22 and out of college sounded like a dream come true. However, I am starting to agree with the idea that youth is wasted on the young because we have no wisdom to live life to the fullest by any degree. Here I have been sitting in OZ and I have been anything but joyous. I have not "found myself" and most of the knowledge I have acquired so far seems to be pretty depressing. This was probably to be expected. Following your ideals into a fantasy world has got to crash and burn sometime. At least I am not being relied upon as a responsible adult by any means at the moment.
Time is flying by and already I am considering an early departure from this holiday. More time home getting in touch with my roots may do me some good before shipping off again. I guess I am just searching for love and even if that is just from my family I am ok with that. It's not here and I am not feeling any more alive than I did at home.
That is not to say that this experience is over yet. I have a lot of traveling to do and a lot of self-seeking to do. I am hoping to get to Tasmania and the Great Barrier Reef asap. Luckily I have some pretty sweet friends who want to accompany me. I am pretty blessed for the support and companionship to say the very least.
I think my major deficit right now is that I feel spiritually depleted. I miss the days were I could go on some religious retreat and renew whatever hope I had in this world on a deeper level. I am not saying I am seeking religion, just an inner compass. I feel like in not knowing myself, I also don't know who I am or where I know I am going.. roughly.
Monday, March 8, 2010
What happens at Pinewood, stays in Australia
Life in Australia cont.
So I am sorry first and foremost that I have left this blog un-updated for such a very long time. I can't really explain why I have been so lazy, but I think I just didn't feel so much like voicing some of the things I was feeling. Beyond that, it has been a pretty busy few weeks and I am happy that I did not have as much ample free time to blog away. I will try to make the updates brief and exciting. So here goes nothing :
Valentines weekend I spent in Sydney with camp friends Steve, Nicole and Jenna. It was a truly pleasant get-a-way and the weather being rainy didn't stop us from having an amazing time. We explored the city a bit and I got to take some classic photos with the Opera House and the Harbor Bridge as my cliche Australian vacation backdrop! We did some shopping and had a crazy, boisterous night out at Kings Cross where we boogied down for Steve's friend's (mate's) birthday. We saw some chick OD-ing in the corner by 10:30pm and ended our night at a McDonalds (Mackers) where Nicole thought it was ok to sit at the only open seat with some randoms and make friends. Oh yeah, this is after Jenna went on a flashing spree and showed half of Sydney her granny panties just for kicks. I love my friends.
Steve was a fantastic host and even had a bbq complete with lamb and footy on tv for the pre-party. His family was also very hospitable and sweet. I got to see Bondi beach and a few other beaches from the car due to the rain. The next two days we spent at Jenna's in the Blue Mountains which are outside Sydney. We saw the famous tourist site the Three Sisters which are rock formations legend to be aboriginal women turned to stone. Our tour down on a cable car was pretty cool and being the only non-asian tourists was a unique experience. All in all a good time. We also got to meet a recently excepted Pinewood counselor and went aqua-golfing with her. She must have thought we were crazy with our stories of camp parties and conversations centered on bowl movements. It's a camp thing. Anyways, great trip. We will forever remember the stinky aboriginal woman on the bus who sat in between us, reeked like she hadn't showered in weeks, had hairy legs and talked to herself. Oh yes, and the ear-less man she somehow couldn't remember she was friends with but later high fived. Crazy golden moments.
After Sydney, I got back into the swing of life in Ascot Vale and met a few more of Trent's friends whom I really enjoy. We have spent two evenings with Sandra and Jason who throw some fun and mellow house parties and were extremely welcoming. I turned them onto Captain Morgan and managed to carry on a complete conversation with Jason in spanish by about 3am. I still got it!
I have also spent more time trying to get out on long walks and have found a nearby park I love to adventure to. I have become addicted to anything with sweet chili sauce and have learned to love lamb meat. I received news that my college diploma had arrived in the mail back at home and my WorldTeach Ecuador acceptance packet came via email. That reality is just on the horizon and I am so excited!
Another interesting experience was learning how tomato (pronounce to-maw-toe) sauce is made Wog-style, aka in huge vats in the backyard over huge bondfires. T.'s friend J. and his family were nice enough to invite us over to watch and help make the sauce that would last them the entire year. I was also lucky enough to acquire some sauce to take home. Can't wait to show grandma Tony!
A few weeks back I had a lovely Friday afternoon attending a movie. This, however, was not your average cinema show. T. and I saw Shutter Island from the Gold Class room at the Crown Casino in Melbourne. Basically a VIP theater complete with lounge chairs and food and drink service. The best part was skipping out on the gourmet fingerfood and having the waitstaff bring us candy and popcorn instead. At $30 a ticket, I am not too sure if this sort of service would fly in the states, but it was definitely a cute and special day out.
This past weekend I had the opportunity to go to Queensland, which is the state equivalent to California or Florida. Humidity here I come! Of course, just my luck, it rained the entire time. Lucky for us, Brisbane is not completely underwater like the flooded regions of Queensland that are currently in a very bad state of affairs. Nicole met us at the airport and put us up in her lovely abode for the weekend. Waking up on a basement floor sprawled out with five of your best friends on mattresses is a pretty good gig. Especially after a late night jump in the pool fully clothed. Falling asleep drunk after making a Vegemite sandwhich made me feel like a true Aussie. Nicole was proud.
The next night we attended Patty's 21st birthday at his house. I am pretty sure 21sts here are waaaaay better than at home. When the drinking age is 18, 21 marks someone's true arrival into adulthood, and is a family affair. Patty's parents, family and many, many friends were all as lively as he is and it was truly touching listening to his lengthy birthday speeches, complete with skits and songs to roast him completely. We laughed pretty hard when many references were made to his run in with the drunken Mexicans at the Hendersonville, NC BestWestern which landed him with 11 stitches in his head. We headed out in maxi-cabs (the equivalent to a party-bus cab) to the bar called Fridays which overlooked some pretty bridge and water way I regret not learning about. I danced until I could not feel my toes and realized it was 4am and I had had the longest night out of my life. Luckily I wasn't in the state that many of the fellow party goers were in, spewing (as the Aussies like to say it) at the bar and on everyone's shoes. Really very classy. Our night concluded with making the cab stop at Mackers for breakfast and passing out on the floor once again. It was a great Camp Pinewood reunion, but I plan to go back to Queensland to actually see the famous beaches and hopefully go to some of the islands my fellow St. Petersburg expatriot Tiffani was boasting about. Definitely more adventures in store.
Back in Melbourne, it has been raining non-stop. I forgot to mention earlier that I luckily and thankfully acquired employment working for T.'s Dad's company. I am cleaning offices nightly and currently have only cleaned the Mattel building, which is a distribution center for Mattel toys. The smiling Barbie dolls on the walls somehow make cleaning the toilets more enjoyable. It's a humbling experience, going from living in a house with a cleaning lady, to being one. But I am actually really thankful for the job, the pretty decent pay, and the pleasure of being treated like family by my boss. It is also pretty good to be more active than I have been and hope to increase my arm strength as my mopping skills grow. Last night after our plane landed at 1am, I had the opportunity of learning what T. really does for work. We got a phone call at 4am from M. "The truck no function" and we were off. I had to come of course because I needed to drive. We wandered into late night downtown Melbourne in the rain and had to drive all over delivering a new worktruck to M. and eventually fixing the part that had failed. Although I was only half awake, I had a lovely three hours watching T. empty bins and clean the tram stops. At one point I had to hide from a tram driver who looked nosey. I was not allowed to be there with the workers. It was an interesting experience and I got to see how valuable the people are who really keep the city running. The secret workers of the night are what I call them. Plus I got to drive on the tram lines which is normally illegal. Sweet.
I hope you enjoyed this update. Next time I will have more substantial things to write about and with more depth. Wish you all the best.
Natalie
So I am sorry first and foremost that I have left this blog un-updated for such a very long time. I can't really explain why I have been so lazy, but I think I just didn't feel so much like voicing some of the things I was feeling. Beyond that, it has been a pretty busy few weeks and I am happy that I did not have as much ample free time to blog away. I will try to make the updates brief and exciting. So here goes nothing :
Valentines weekend I spent in Sydney with camp friends Steve, Nicole and Jenna. It was a truly pleasant get-a-way and the weather being rainy didn't stop us from having an amazing time. We explored the city a bit and I got to take some classic photos with the Opera House and the Harbor Bridge as my cliche Australian vacation backdrop! We did some shopping and had a crazy, boisterous night out at Kings Cross where we boogied down for Steve's friend's (mate's) birthday. We saw some chick OD-ing in the corner by 10:30pm and ended our night at a McDonalds (Mackers) where Nicole thought it was ok to sit at the only open seat with some randoms and make friends. Oh yeah, this is after Jenna went on a flashing spree and showed half of Sydney her granny panties just for kicks. I love my friends.
Steve was a fantastic host and even had a bbq complete with lamb and footy on tv for the pre-party. His family was also very hospitable and sweet. I got to see Bondi beach and a few other beaches from the car due to the rain. The next two days we spent at Jenna's in the Blue Mountains which are outside Sydney. We saw the famous tourist site the Three Sisters which are rock formations legend to be aboriginal women turned to stone. Our tour down on a cable car was pretty cool and being the only non-asian tourists was a unique experience. All in all a good time. We also got to meet a recently excepted Pinewood counselor and went aqua-golfing with her. She must have thought we were crazy with our stories of camp parties and conversations centered on bowl movements. It's a camp thing. Anyways, great trip. We will forever remember the stinky aboriginal woman on the bus who sat in between us, reeked like she hadn't showered in weeks, had hairy legs and talked to herself. Oh yes, and the ear-less man she somehow couldn't remember she was friends with but later high fived. Crazy golden moments.
After Sydney, I got back into the swing of life in Ascot Vale and met a few more of Trent's friends whom I really enjoy. We have spent two evenings with Sandra and Jason who throw some fun and mellow house parties and were extremely welcoming. I turned them onto Captain Morgan and managed to carry on a complete conversation with Jason in spanish by about 3am. I still got it!
I have also spent more time trying to get out on long walks and have found a nearby park I love to adventure to. I have become addicted to anything with sweet chili sauce and have learned to love lamb meat. I received news that my college diploma had arrived in the mail back at home and my WorldTeach Ecuador acceptance packet came via email. That reality is just on the horizon and I am so excited!
Another interesting experience was learning how tomato (pronounce to-maw-toe) sauce is made Wog-style, aka in huge vats in the backyard over huge bondfires. T.'s friend J. and his family were nice enough to invite us over to watch and help make the sauce that would last them the entire year. I was also lucky enough to acquire some sauce to take home. Can't wait to show grandma Tony!
A few weeks back I had a lovely Friday afternoon attending a movie. This, however, was not your average cinema show. T. and I saw Shutter Island from the Gold Class room at the Crown Casino in Melbourne. Basically a VIP theater complete with lounge chairs and food and drink service. The best part was skipping out on the gourmet fingerfood and having the waitstaff bring us candy and popcorn instead. At $30 a ticket, I am not too sure if this sort of service would fly in the states, but it was definitely a cute and special day out.
This past weekend I had the opportunity to go to Queensland, which is the state equivalent to California or Florida. Humidity here I come! Of course, just my luck, it rained the entire time. Lucky for us, Brisbane is not completely underwater like the flooded regions of Queensland that are currently in a very bad state of affairs. Nicole met us at the airport and put us up in her lovely abode for the weekend. Waking up on a basement floor sprawled out with five of your best friends on mattresses is a pretty good gig. Especially after a late night jump in the pool fully clothed. Falling asleep drunk after making a Vegemite sandwhich made me feel like a true Aussie. Nicole was proud.
The next night we attended Patty's 21st birthday at his house. I am pretty sure 21sts here are waaaaay better than at home. When the drinking age is 18, 21 marks someone's true arrival into adulthood, and is a family affair. Patty's parents, family and many, many friends were all as lively as he is and it was truly touching listening to his lengthy birthday speeches, complete with skits and songs to roast him completely. We laughed pretty hard when many references were made to his run in with the drunken Mexicans at the Hendersonville, NC BestWestern which landed him with 11 stitches in his head. We headed out in maxi-cabs (the equivalent to a party-bus cab) to the bar called Fridays which overlooked some pretty bridge and water way I regret not learning about. I danced until I could not feel my toes and realized it was 4am and I had had the longest night out of my life. Luckily I wasn't in the state that many of the fellow party goers were in, spewing (as the Aussies like to say it) at the bar and on everyone's shoes. Really very classy. Our night concluded with making the cab stop at Mackers for breakfast and passing out on the floor once again. It was a great Camp Pinewood reunion, but I plan to go back to Queensland to actually see the famous beaches and hopefully go to some of the islands my fellow St. Petersburg expatriot Tiffani was boasting about. Definitely more adventures in store.
Back in Melbourne, it has been raining non-stop. I forgot to mention earlier that I luckily and thankfully acquired employment working for T.'s Dad's company. I am cleaning offices nightly and currently have only cleaned the Mattel building, which is a distribution center for Mattel toys. The smiling Barbie dolls on the walls somehow make cleaning the toilets more enjoyable. It's a humbling experience, going from living in a house with a cleaning lady, to being one. But I am actually really thankful for the job, the pretty decent pay, and the pleasure of being treated like family by my boss. It is also pretty good to be more active than I have been and hope to increase my arm strength as my mopping skills grow. Last night after our plane landed at 1am, I had the opportunity of learning what T. really does for work. We got a phone call at 4am from M. "The truck no function" and we were off. I had to come of course because I needed to drive. We wandered into late night downtown Melbourne in the rain and had to drive all over delivering a new worktruck to M. and eventually fixing the part that had failed. Although I was only half awake, I had a lovely three hours watching T. empty bins and clean the tram stops. At one point I had to hide from a tram driver who looked nosey. I was not allowed to be there with the workers. It was an interesting experience and I got to see how valuable the people are who really keep the city running. The secret workers of the night are what I call them. Plus I got to drive on the tram lines which is normally illegal. Sweet.
I hope you enjoyed this update. Next time I will have more substantial things to write about and with more depth. Wish you all the best.
Natalie
Thursday, February 11, 2010
the not so useful natalie
So hmmm. What's new? I could lie and say I have been touring the city, sightseeing, seeing broadway type productions and waltzing through the Melbourne botanical gardens. But, that would most definitely be a lie. Instead I have watched approximately 17 movies and countless hours of television, took one outing to the grocery store to fulfill our current hibernation mission, and taken one random walk in which I kept checking over my shoulder for fear of being mugged. Yeah that last part was the result of T. warning me to be careful and my paranoid brain. A catastrophic mixture. Anyways, back to the hibernation part. See I like to think of us as two bears, except that we are hiding out from the heat rather than the winter. T. has been really sick. For. 5. whole. days. I am a pretty patient person. Heck I practically had Swine Flu last fall and I only took one day off work! So, I have been trying to deal with this situation as patiently and lovingly as possible. He is a friend, after all and a part of the male species, which indefinitely makes him a bit weak from the start.
So doing nothing, hmmm, as if I could write an entire blog about that? Maybe there is more too it to that. I mean heck, if you know you probably won't leave the house the entire day, just getting out of bed in the morning is a huge accomplishment. I have hope it's not always going to be like this. I really do. I can't force someone to feel better just because I am tired of doing nothing. I just think a little fresh air never killed anyone. That's all.
So if anyone knows me well, they know I like to take long, long, long walks. I probably get it from my Grandmother and quite frankly, the whole MacKinnon side of the family. They are what I like to refer to as "walkers." I have a few friends that are walkers and I love them a lot (you know who you are 6 mile routers of Gainesville). My brother is also very found of walking, although his walks usually are a bit more enlightening (I have the slightest idea why). Anywho, at the point where I was staring at a blank wall out of boredom, ready to snap, I decided to walk. I was a bit nervous seeing as I could get lost pretty easily and because I had not really been more than two blocks away on my own prior to this point. So I walked. And I walked. And I walked some more. I saw other walkers and ended up at some river where people were rowing and I was pretty gosh darn tickled by all of this nonsense. It rained on me but I was still upbeat. So that was my Wednesday. Yay!
Today, back to the grind. I mean the grind of doing nothing. Cleaning has become a new hobby. Somehow caring for the sick and cleaning go hand in hand. I am lucky though as my male roommate has pointed out, he does clean and he does cook. So maybe he is a more evolved breed of the XY chromosome combo.
Today I did hear some very sad news and I ask that anyone who is reading this please say a prayer for Nancy and Jillian. Hearing about tragedies back home is never easy, especially when you are far from people who are really hurting. But prayer does not know boarders of continents, at least I like to believe. So pray on I will.
Tomorrow bright and early we depart for Sydney. I am hoping that I will actually get to go out and am looking forward to some MUCH MUCH MUCH needed girl time with Nicole and Jenna from camp. I will also be seeing one of my favorite Aussies, Steve! Steve, T., Nicole, C., and I (and Melissa, Lindley, Kim, Brad and Liz of course! ) all had the same day off at camp last year. We are looking forward to the reunion and hopefully getting out to celebrate a bit. It is also Chinese New Year and Valentines Day, although I doubt I will be celebrating either. I will try to keep everyone posted on Sydney and all that jazz. Hopefully it will be better than hibernating.
So my thoughts at this point? A bit skeptical, but then again that could have developed from watching too many cheesy movies. But I am skeptical and finally realizing I am in the "real world" no one really wants to enter. Everything behind me is a blur and I basically have busted out of the institution that has held me in place 17 or 18 of the 22 years of my life. That's right, the education system. It makes sense that all of my friends are school friends and that most of my life has been, up until now, determined by dates and deadlines of school, sorority, jobs, research meetings etc. Now I am free. Which don't get me wrong is liberating. But it sure is scary, and lonely. Going from living with 60 women, having scheduled meal times, schedules days, carrying a planner, and knowing what I will be doing day to day, week to week to this? It's a bit of a shock. And a bit stressful. I am coping. I am reading a lot of books. I can't wait for grad school after I am done with these experiences. I really thought my practical side would kick in but it unfortunately is not. Driving in Australia is hard. So is cooking, and figuring out when to use the water, and how to work the blinds. I have learned so far that I would suck at being a housewife and that I really have a breaking point when it comes to caring for the sick. Hmm weeding out life purposes by the bushel. I like that .
Until next time,
Natalie
So doing nothing, hmmm, as if I could write an entire blog about that? Maybe there is more too it to that. I mean heck, if you know you probably won't leave the house the entire day, just getting out of bed in the morning is a huge accomplishment. I have hope it's not always going to be like this. I really do. I can't force someone to feel better just because I am tired of doing nothing. I just think a little fresh air never killed anyone. That's all.
So if anyone knows me well, they know I like to take long, long, long walks. I probably get it from my Grandmother and quite frankly, the whole MacKinnon side of the family. They are what I like to refer to as "walkers." I have a few friends that are walkers and I love them a lot (you know who you are 6 mile routers of Gainesville). My brother is also very found of walking, although his walks usually are a bit more enlightening (I have the slightest idea why). Anywho, at the point where I was staring at a blank wall out of boredom, ready to snap, I decided to walk. I was a bit nervous seeing as I could get lost pretty easily and because I had not really been more than two blocks away on my own prior to this point. So I walked. And I walked. And I walked some more. I saw other walkers and ended up at some river where people were rowing and I was pretty gosh darn tickled by all of this nonsense. It rained on me but I was still upbeat. So that was my Wednesday. Yay!
Today, back to the grind. I mean the grind of doing nothing. Cleaning has become a new hobby. Somehow caring for the sick and cleaning go hand in hand. I am lucky though as my male roommate has pointed out, he does clean and he does cook. So maybe he is a more evolved breed of the XY chromosome combo.
Today I did hear some very sad news and I ask that anyone who is reading this please say a prayer for Nancy and Jillian. Hearing about tragedies back home is never easy, especially when you are far from people who are really hurting. But prayer does not know boarders of continents, at least I like to believe. So pray on I will.
Tomorrow bright and early we depart for Sydney. I am hoping that I will actually get to go out and am looking forward to some MUCH MUCH MUCH needed girl time with Nicole and Jenna from camp. I will also be seeing one of my favorite Aussies, Steve! Steve, T., Nicole, C., and I (and Melissa, Lindley, Kim, Brad and Liz of course! ) all had the same day off at camp last year. We are looking forward to the reunion and hopefully getting out to celebrate a bit. It is also Chinese New Year and Valentines Day, although I doubt I will be celebrating either. I will try to keep everyone posted on Sydney and all that jazz. Hopefully it will be better than hibernating.
So my thoughts at this point? A bit skeptical, but then again that could have developed from watching too many cheesy movies. But I am skeptical and finally realizing I am in the "real world" no one really wants to enter. Everything behind me is a blur and I basically have busted out of the institution that has held me in place 17 or 18 of the 22 years of my life. That's right, the education system. It makes sense that all of my friends are school friends and that most of my life has been, up until now, determined by dates and deadlines of school, sorority, jobs, research meetings etc. Now I am free. Which don't get me wrong is liberating. But it sure is scary, and lonely. Going from living with 60 women, having scheduled meal times, schedules days, carrying a planner, and knowing what I will be doing day to day, week to week to this? It's a bit of a shock. And a bit stressful. I am coping. I am reading a lot of books. I can't wait for grad school after I am done with these experiences. I really thought my practical side would kick in but it unfortunately is not. Driving in Australia is hard. So is cooking, and figuring out when to use the water, and how to work the blinds. I have learned so far that I would suck at being a housewife and that I really have a breaking point when it comes to caring for the sick. Hmm weeding out life purposes by the bushel. I like that .
Until next time,
Natalie
Monday, February 8, 2010
A Beautiful Mess
I apologize for the absence. It's been a crazy last few days. Mainly because both my housemate and I have been pretty sick. For some odd reason I always think I am immune to illnesses, even when someone in my close proximity is literally dying from coughing or fever. The excuse that I eat all my vegetables doesn't cut it. I got sick.
Despite the experience of being sick abroad, which is not too bad in my cushy apartment, things have been up and down. I was obviously a bit upset last week when I wrote and wanted to be in a better mood before I rambled on about something depressing. No need to worry anyone. I think my melancholy stems from the lack of mental challenge or a structure in my life. Hmm interesting how someone on holiday will snap without a scheduled list of meetings, assignments, classes, and lab hours to complete. Obviously that's what sets me apart as an American. Workaholic in nature I suppose.
To remedy these overwhelming feelings of a lack of purpose, I have begun my job hunt. Today I am going to talk to a friend of a friend at some pizza restaurant to see about a job. If that falls through (which I may or may not be happy about), I plan on taking my sales pitch to the road next week when I get home from Sydney.
Before I get into next weekend's travels, I should probably comment on this past weekend. It was a good one indeed. I feel pretty blessed to have friends here that make the effort to take me to some really cool places. Our destination; a place called Spray Farm. I know it sounds like a dump for pesticide use, but it turned out to be a beautiful vineyard directly on the coast near the start of the famous Great Ocean Road. We were attending a show called Day on the Green to see Aussie singer Vanessa Amarossi (sp?) and Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20. I will have some pictures up soon on facebook, but honestly it was the most beautiful show venue I have ever attended. We sat high up on the hill, had a lovely picnic, and enjoyed the music. We may have enjoyed the crowd's antics more, though. I had my first glimpse of what is known as the Aussie drinking tradition. Everyone was hammered. Men falling off coolers, Women tossing their wine and cheese all over a stranger's picnic blanket. No worries mate. My favorite part was watching the stragglers at the end of the night who somehow had missed their friends, their car, and the boat completely. I guess the cops have to round them up at the end of the night. Either way, I never saw so many responsible adults that publicly intoxicated! Maybe drinking bottles of wine all day in the sun was a bad choice. Maybe it's just in their nature to get away for a Saturday, booze it hard, and return to their lives in the City on Monday. Hardcore is the only word that comes to mind.
So beyond being stunned both by the beauty of the ocean, and some people's lack of dignity, I was feeling pretty good. Unfortunately, this feeling didn't last too long, when a random comment sent me over the edge. It was between my two best friends here, something along the lines of how they are the only constant friends in their lives. I took it as I am only temporary. I don't know why this realization hurt so much. Maybe it is because in my idealistic fantasy world I can do everything and be friends with everyone and no one is ever left out. I am now attempting to see my lack of permanence as a good thing, an asset I have, something to remind my not to care about what people think or how what I do now will affect my future here. Because there is no future here. Not likely anyways. Another reason why I can't be getting all vulnerable or falling for Aussie boys. Just not worth the heartache.
I do my fair share of thinking here and I apologize if it completely resembles the ramblings of a crazy person. When I have the time, I think, and thinking rarely brings me to wisdom without hitting the low points along the way.
On a lighter note, this weekend we are heading to Sydney and I think the change of scenery will do me good. We will be seeing our friends Nicole, Steve and Jenna which will be a delight. I am extremely excited about having girl time with my pinewood girls and hopefully experiencing the nightlife. It is Valentine's Day and Chinese New Year so it is sure to be a pretty festive weekend.
Thank you again for the love and support. Keep the messages and skype calls coming.
xo,
Natalie
Despite the experience of being sick abroad, which is not too bad in my cushy apartment, things have been up and down. I was obviously a bit upset last week when I wrote and wanted to be in a better mood before I rambled on about something depressing. No need to worry anyone. I think my melancholy stems from the lack of mental challenge or a structure in my life. Hmm interesting how someone on holiday will snap without a scheduled list of meetings, assignments, classes, and lab hours to complete. Obviously that's what sets me apart as an American. Workaholic in nature I suppose.
To remedy these overwhelming feelings of a lack of purpose, I have begun my job hunt. Today I am going to talk to a friend of a friend at some pizza restaurant to see about a job. If that falls through (which I may or may not be happy about), I plan on taking my sales pitch to the road next week when I get home from Sydney.
Before I get into next weekend's travels, I should probably comment on this past weekend. It was a good one indeed. I feel pretty blessed to have friends here that make the effort to take me to some really cool places. Our destination; a place called Spray Farm. I know it sounds like a dump for pesticide use, but it turned out to be a beautiful vineyard directly on the coast near the start of the famous Great Ocean Road. We were attending a show called Day on the Green to see Aussie singer Vanessa Amarossi (sp?) and Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20. I will have some pictures up soon on facebook, but honestly it was the most beautiful show venue I have ever attended. We sat high up on the hill, had a lovely picnic, and enjoyed the music. We may have enjoyed the crowd's antics more, though. I had my first glimpse of what is known as the Aussie drinking tradition. Everyone was hammered. Men falling off coolers, Women tossing their wine and cheese all over a stranger's picnic blanket. No worries mate. My favorite part was watching the stragglers at the end of the night who somehow had missed their friends, their car, and the boat completely. I guess the cops have to round them up at the end of the night. Either way, I never saw so many responsible adults that publicly intoxicated! Maybe drinking bottles of wine all day in the sun was a bad choice. Maybe it's just in their nature to get away for a Saturday, booze it hard, and return to their lives in the City on Monday. Hardcore is the only word that comes to mind.
So beyond being stunned both by the beauty of the ocean, and some people's lack of dignity, I was feeling pretty good. Unfortunately, this feeling didn't last too long, when a random comment sent me over the edge. It was between my two best friends here, something along the lines of how they are the only constant friends in their lives. I took it as I am only temporary. I don't know why this realization hurt so much. Maybe it is because in my idealistic fantasy world I can do everything and be friends with everyone and no one is ever left out. I am now attempting to see my lack of permanence as a good thing, an asset I have, something to remind my not to care about what people think or how what I do now will affect my future here. Because there is no future here. Not likely anyways. Another reason why I can't be getting all vulnerable or falling for Aussie boys. Just not worth the heartache.
I do my fair share of thinking here and I apologize if it completely resembles the ramblings of a crazy person. When I have the time, I think, and thinking rarely brings me to wisdom without hitting the low points along the way.
On a lighter note, this weekend we are heading to Sydney and I think the change of scenery will do me good. We will be seeing our friends Nicole, Steve and Jenna which will be a delight. I am extremely excited about having girl time with my pinewood girls and hopefully experiencing the nightlife. It is Valentine's Day and Chinese New Year so it is sure to be a pretty festive weekend.
Thank you again for the love and support. Keep the messages and skype calls coming.
xo,
Natalie
Thursday, February 4, 2010
tuna and beans, flames and bondfires.
Today has been a day spent wrapped in thought. It's been a week since I stepped foot onto this gracious continent, and yet, I think I am just now beginning to feel the weight of my presence here. I am beginning to realize that I have a budding life here, that my presence, although short, would be missed if I dissipated into the heavy summer heat. It is bittersweet.
The first week I had morning coffee with friend thousands of miles away. I met new faces, shared gourmet pizzas, and beers on the beach. I felt warm and welcome. I didn't feel loss. Today marked a change, maybe a shift not unlike the plates deep beneath the earth that have caused such tragic catastrophe in recent months. I found myself contemplating what the hell am I doing? Am I running towards my dream or away from someone else's? Am I being authentic or just jumping into another fantastic story running parallel to mine back in the States?
I am beginning to see people as they really are. I pride myself in keeping the company of people I consider real. And in being real, they probably carry some burden or have experienced something that allows them to really feel and care for others. I consider myself lucky to know such endearing souls. Within this category, however, I have begun to define two types. There are those who try to project their ideals and ideas about you onto you, perhaps inspiring you to move in new ways to fit some novel shape. But there are also those that can be limitting. Like a piece of clothing that is just too tight or a shoe too small. No room to grow. When you are young, physical and psychological growth can be seen, praised, and acknowledged by all. When you get a bit older, all of this growing takes place on the inside. It's harder to realize, harder to accept, it requires honesty.
Here is my fear. In growing,I will hurt others. Hurt the people who make the boxes, in which, I appear to fit in the images of their minds, but never quite fully in their hearts. In growing from these, the boxes may spilt and shatter. Pieces of remorse and a dream of what that box could have held, but never truly contained. I don't want to admit that I am growing, but I know I am.
How can I both hold on and let go? The past is the past, but as this trip has shown me, there are parallel universes. You can carry friendships across oceans and conversations over invisible connections. But then there are the connections of the heart. Do those float away towards distant shores, or reverberate into oblivion? If I build the box, can I make it big enough so that my heart can never burst through?
The first week I had morning coffee with friend thousands of miles away. I met new faces, shared gourmet pizzas, and beers on the beach. I felt warm and welcome. I didn't feel loss. Today marked a change, maybe a shift not unlike the plates deep beneath the earth that have caused such tragic catastrophe in recent months. I found myself contemplating what the hell am I doing? Am I running towards my dream or away from someone else's? Am I being authentic or just jumping into another fantastic story running parallel to mine back in the States?
I am beginning to see people as they really are. I pride myself in keeping the company of people I consider real. And in being real, they probably carry some burden or have experienced something that allows them to really feel and care for others. I consider myself lucky to know such endearing souls. Within this category, however, I have begun to define two types. There are those who try to project their ideals and ideas about you onto you, perhaps inspiring you to move in new ways to fit some novel shape. But there are also those that can be limitting. Like a piece of clothing that is just too tight or a shoe too small. No room to grow. When you are young, physical and psychological growth can be seen, praised, and acknowledged by all. When you get a bit older, all of this growing takes place on the inside. It's harder to realize, harder to accept, it requires honesty.
Here is my fear. In growing,I will hurt others. Hurt the people who make the boxes, in which, I appear to fit in the images of their minds, but never quite fully in their hearts. In growing from these, the boxes may spilt and shatter. Pieces of remorse and a dream of what that box could have held, but never truly contained. I don't want to admit that I am growing, but I know I am.
How can I both hold on and let go? The past is the past, but as this trip has shown me, there are parallel universes. You can carry friendships across oceans and conversations over invisible connections. But then there are the connections of the heart. Do those float away towards distant shores, or reverberate into oblivion? If I build the box, can I make it big enough so that my heart can never burst through?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The working week... well not for me anyways
Hello all! Glad to see some people have been taking advantage of this blog to read up on my (mis)adventures so far. Since I last wrote, not a whole lot has happened, but I have been settling into my life here. I think the greatest challenge for me now is how to relax and really just be happy being alive. Sounds deep and all, but really it's more like enjoying sitting around and going with the flow. I basically fought my way into these people's lives so I can't exactly start calling the shots. I also am pretty lucky to know what this feels like. I know later in the hectic bustle of law school or grad school I will long for these hot summer days at grandma's house with my sleeping aussie. (For those of you who didn't know T. sleeps nights so I am always online in the morning which is probably evening in the States)
Ok so although it was lazy I will fill you in
Monday: After finally working on my blog and talking to family and friends, it was time to experience the mundane and the everyday in Melbourne. Autoparts store woohoo! T. and his friend Marc and I headed to the store to get him some parts for his car. We ended up back at Marcs place, had a beer, watched Ironman. Goodtimes to be had by all. Luckily I was allowed out on the road for a bit of driving practice. I am finally becomming accustomed to the opposite side of the road issue, but still confused by the opposite side of the car part. I sometimes put on the windshield wipers instead of the indicators. It hasn't rained much here so I ende up looking pretty idiotic.
Tuesday: Almost the same scenario as Monday except today we visited T.'s workshop and brought car parts to the drifting shop, ran some errands and saw Marc and the family. T. promised me a beach trip after I had googlemapped how to walk there. Only 10k! I could do it! Coming into the city and looking out at the water was really what I needed. I think many of you know about my walking route along the water in St. Pete near downtown. It's something that I hold pretty dear and can not do without when I am home. I feared that I would never find a walking path that good abroad. Well, I got lucky. It's no calm Vinoy Park, but it is a happy medium between that and South Beach. There are beautiful and fabulous restaurants and bars overlooking the beachscape. Trails for walkers, bikers, and yes, bladers! I was suddenly happier than I had been all day! We walked a good while and took in the sights. There is an old amusement park there too that I really want to check out and photograph. I got a few good ones of the sunset and called it a night. I plan on coming back there to walk or bike pretty soon, as well as check out the nightlife. Everything is still a bit overwhelming, but its becoming more and more normal. Towards the end of the night I began to feel a bit cranky. It may have been the sun, because supposedly my cheeks were displaying the effects of the UV rays. I claimed to be immune, but I guess not. I was thinking that I hated feeling useless. So far in our apartment, I try to do my best with simple things, but overall, T. figured out how to do everything for me. I expressed this concern, but aparently it's hard for someone to understand. I just want to know that I bring something to the table. As if my pressence is making life easier instead of the opposite. I guess hospitality goes beyond that fairness and people are just happy to share what they have with you fully.
As for today, I don't think there are any set plans in the works. I anticipate relaxing and maybe some exploring. I am also excited because we are going to see Rob Thomas this weekend at some music festival along with some local bands. The following weekend we are heading to Sydnee to see Steve and Nicole from Camp! I also just subscribed to an online newletter about stuff happening in Melbourne. I am happy to learn about this huge sustainable living festival/workshop thats free for the public coming up in two weeks. Definitely up my alley and I will probably drag some friends along. So life is slow and simple, yet rich and beautiful.
A few other thoughts.... I think (after seeing the beach life) this city is very easy to fall in love with. While I was walking by the water I had one of those moments where you just look up at the sky and are wholly thankful for the moment you've been blessed with. I realize that thinking about a moment is not living the moment, but it's as good as someone shaking your shoulders forcing you to be a bit more present.
Also, I worry too much for Melbourne. So if I sound anxious or worried it's probably me using this as an outlet. DO NOT WORRY.
I love you guys and thanks for all the facebook and skype chats.
Ok so although it was lazy I will fill you in
Monday: After finally working on my blog and talking to family and friends, it was time to experience the mundane and the everyday in Melbourne. Autoparts store woohoo! T. and his friend Marc and I headed to the store to get him some parts for his car. We ended up back at Marcs place, had a beer, watched Ironman. Goodtimes to be had by all. Luckily I was allowed out on the road for a bit of driving practice. I am finally becomming accustomed to the opposite side of the road issue, but still confused by the opposite side of the car part. I sometimes put on the windshield wipers instead of the indicators. It hasn't rained much here so I ende up looking pretty idiotic.
Tuesday: Almost the same scenario as Monday except today we visited T.'s workshop and brought car parts to the drifting shop, ran some errands and saw Marc and the family. T. promised me a beach trip after I had googlemapped how to walk there. Only 10k! I could do it! Coming into the city and looking out at the water was really what I needed. I think many of you know about my walking route along the water in St. Pete near downtown. It's something that I hold pretty dear and can not do without when I am home. I feared that I would never find a walking path that good abroad. Well, I got lucky. It's no calm Vinoy Park, but it is a happy medium between that and South Beach. There are beautiful and fabulous restaurants and bars overlooking the beachscape. Trails for walkers, bikers, and yes, bladers! I was suddenly happier than I had been all day! We walked a good while and took in the sights. There is an old amusement park there too that I really want to check out and photograph. I got a few good ones of the sunset and called it a night. I plan on coming back there to walk or bike pretty soon, as well as check out the nightlife. Everything is still a bit overwhelming, but its becoming more and more normal. Towards the end of the night I began to feel a bit cranky. It may have been the sun, because supposedly my cheeks were displaying the effects of the UV rays. I claimed to be immune, but I guess not. I was thinking that I hated feeling useless. So far in our apartment, I try to do my best with simple things, but overall, T. figured out how to do everything for me. I expressed this concern, but aparently it's hard for someone to understand. I just want to know that I bring something to the table. As if my pressence is making life easier instead of the opposite. I guess hospitality goes beyond that fairness and people are just happy to share what they have with you fully.
As for today, I don't think there are any set plans in the works. I anticipate relaxing and maybe some exploring. I am also excited because we are going to see Rob Thomas this weekend at some music festival along with some local bands. The following weekend we are heading to Sydnee to see Steve and Nicole from Camp! I also just subscribed to an online newletter about stuff happening in Melbourne. I am happy to learn about this huge sustainable living festival/workshop thats free for the public coming up in two weeks. Definitely up my alley and I will probably drag some friends along. So life is slow and simple, yet rich and beautiful.
A few other thoughts.... I think (after seeing the beach life) this city is very easy to fall in love with. While I was walking by the water I had one of those moments where you just look up at the sky and are wholly thankful for the moment you've been blessed with. I realize that thinking about a moment is not living the moment, but it's as good as someone shaking your shoulders forcing you to be a bit more present.
Also, I worry too much for Melbourne. So if I sound anxious or worried it's probably me using this as an outlet. DO NOT WORRY.
I love you guys and thanks for all the facebook and skype chats.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Safe and cozy in my parallel universe: This is Melbourne
Hello All! or should I say G'Day Mates!
Obviously I am having a bit of trouble keeping up with this whole blog situation. I apologize. I actually have not been online since the last Thursday when I landed. Recovering from jet lag (cough partying cough cough) has been brutal. I will give a quick summary of what has transpired so far:
Thursday: arrived in Melbourne, delirious and confused. The traffic, being completely opposite of the States, left me dizzy. My flight was fine apart from a two hour span on the tail end of the 16 hour long trans-pacific one. Word of advice: do not eat plane eggs and coffee in turbulence. Not fun. I met many interesting travelers along the way and found it comforting that all of them, like me, were traveling along. The first friend I made was about a 50 year old OBGYN of LA, I hung out with a Sydney native coming from the states, a 20 something Canadian backpacking around oz and looking for good weed, and then there was a young uni student of who spoke German, Norwegian and English. Cheers to interesting people.
Seeing C. in the airport was shocking. I nearly tackled her and T.. I settled into our little apartment here about 6 miles from the city. I keep calling it downtown and get into trouble. It's like new york. You call it The City. Anyways, it's a two bedroom apartment with grandma charm. Seriously I swear there is a grandmother store where all grandmothers go to collect trinkets to decorate their houses. I am reminded of my grandma Dodeeo's home except that the angels she collects are replaced by Jesus statues. Adorable.
Friday: After sleeping in five hour spurts and eating whenever I could not sleep (steak, pbj, other man foods), I decided I was feeling up to an adventure into The City. We took the tram, which was pretty exciting. I realized that going barefoot is pretty acceptable in the city and that many people homeless or not just seem to be casual about shoes. I started to worry because I was feeling sick and dizzy again, much like I did on that damned delta flight. I figured I was just hungry. We stopped at the square (I can't recall the name) where the Australian Open is being played. It was pretty cool to see the big screens showing the matches. I had a fabulous gourmet pizza and felt 10000x better. Back to my go-getter self again! YES! We wandered around the shopping centers and I felt really amazed by how little experience I have actually had in a real urban city.
I call this post my parallel universe for several reasons. Firstly, if I didn't know better and the accents were not so prevalent, I could easily believe I was in a dryer, browner, more euro-influenced city in the US. This first morning I had coffee, however it was made entirely differently ( hot water heater, instant coffee, whole milk, brown sugar). The final product tasted exactly the same but it contained completely different elements than my usual cup of joe. Strange yet pretty comforting. Another aspect of this universe is the people. My friendships with my camp friends seem as if we never left each other. Everything is so normal and happy. I am the only one that occasionally feels like I stick out for being the American. I guess I am used to being the Token after our trip to Miami. No worries.
Friday night we ventured to C.'s for a get together somewhat in my honor. We had a Barbi and beers, sat on the porch. and this kid names Amazing Tom showed my really superb magic tricks. Even as he drank, his tricks were flawless. I met all of C.'s closest friends and roommates and felt pretty at home. Seriously, could have been anywhere in the U.S. I find it pretty cool that most of them are either immigrants of more recent immigrants to OZ than people are here. It's like a younger America where many people are still linked by language or heritage to their roots, but yet fully Australian. We spent the night there for lack of transportation home and had to be up early for the CCUSA recruitment at the Hyatt.
Saturday: T.'s family friend A. picked us up at C.'s and brought us to the camp recruitment event. It was pretty amazing being in Melbourne yet surrounded by American accents again! We hung out with Doc, which for those of you from Pinewood know, is the head director of boy's hill. He is about 6'10 and really intimidating. I never thought he really liked me, however he was pretty cool outside of camp. Also I think he appreciated us coming to show our support and help him filter through people looking to work at camp next summer. Alix luckily got a job! She is really sweet and funny and will probably have the time of her life at camp. So after hours of strangely interviewing Aussies to do my summer job in the states, we escaped to an Asian bakery to refuel. Weird, yet delicious. We made our way home and barely had time to shower before we were expected at the family household. Talk about throwing me in head first. I litteraly met all of T. and C.'s local family and friends in one day. I survived though and actually felt really accepted and at home. T.'s house was really nice and an Arctic sanctuary to the full on Summer heat. I met his older brother, younger sister, mother and father, as well as some family friends who had an adorable 1 year old daughter. As promised, I think there was at least three types of meat served and I was offered beer about 4 times before I said ok. Lamb (which I refuse to eat), steak and chicken skewers. Amazing! They were very hospitable and hilarious. I swear they way the parents bicker with the two boys would make great reality tv but It's just how they communicate. As an outsider I just went with the flow, but they seem extremely sweet. The kissing on the cheek thing still throws me a bit. I am such an awkward anglo. The two dogs T. dyed when his parents were away are still partially green and pink. I tried not to laugh and encourage his bad behavior. His mum would not be pleased.
Next we headed to this place called the Belgian Beer Garden in the city. After a crazy ride in the family convertible (I of course braved it in the back), we came to this place that could definitely rival an outdoor frat party. People everywhere on a dirt covered field. It reminded me of an outdoor concert with no music. It was great and the people were all laid back. I was not IDed and people discreetly, yet openly, puffed away on joints. crazy.
I met all of T.'s guy friends from his old job and their wives and girlfriends. It was his friend M.'s going away because he is moving to Canberra for a new job. I only encountered one hater who supposedly had some jealously, among other mental, issues. Everyone else was welcoming and open to meeting this strange rando girl. We stayed for a few hours and then relocated the get together to M.'s house and sat of the porch. Luckily it cooled down a bit and he all had some exciting conversation. I felt like the odd one a bit and was worried about these girls, especially, being standoffish or reluctant to make friends. They were all really beautiful and had cool piercings and tattoos. They turned out to be really smart and interesting. We chatted about politics, American media, and they mercilessly gave T. shit for hanging out with me. I guess I am considered to be something of a novelty and a pretty cool girl. I did have to pass some tests though. One being that I was asked if i believed humans as they exist today were alive at the same time as the dinosaurs. I said no to my drunk inquisitor. She nearly hugged me and said "Yes, oh my gosh Americans aren't that stupid." Taking no offense I told her about the creation museum somewhere in the midwest that actually propagated that belief, but that most people are not that dense. We became friends. Once again I was surprised by how all of these people were very culturally diverse; Philippine, Macedonian, Greek, Chilean, Uruguayan, Croatian, and me the American. Obviously, I was enjoying the spectrum. I especially liked meeting Paula from Chile who had immigrated recently and learned an Aussie accent after she had had an American one for most of her schooling.
At around 5 am we finally got a cab. A stop at Mackers (McDonalds) was a great end to an eventful and long day. The prices there though, are seriously insane. At least the dining room is open 24 hours for drunk people. Fun fact: cops get free mackers to encourage them to stop by the joint and sorta offer some security. I guess it can get pretty wild.
Sunday: Waking up late was fabulous, but I began to get stressed. I had destroyed what little finger nails I had left. What the heck am I supposed to do here? I don't have a job and don't have any imminent homework to do! AH! I tend to freak out and go into depression in these conditions. I talked to T. for a while about this and we decided I needed to learn how to relax. I really don't know what he does when he's not working and seeing as how neither of us can currently drive ( him due to point collection on his license, me due to confusion and fear), i felt trapped. I made us breakfast (eggs and toast ) and we decided just to chill out and spent most of the day talking. It was really good. A bit later we walked down the road to the grocery store. His grandmother's house is an apartment in a government housing complex. Basically the ghetto, but also home to some yuppies who like to feel alternative. I totally dig the strange immigrant people and stray cats and dogs outside. Although, I was advised not to try to pet them, I still tried and failed. The store was a 5-10 min walk away and was surprisingly brand new and really nice. Probably nicer than publix at home. They sold netbook computers there and way better assortment of foreign and gourmet foods. It was fabulous. I really enjoyed shopping and T. found that funny because he does too. I think it's the fact that I feel like I am a little kid playing house. Maybe because I don't drive and don't yet have a job so I sorta feel like a lost little kid. But, then again I have a house and a roommate. Years of living at Dg have made me sorta useless and I like having to fend for myself a bit. I also liked stocking up some healthy foods. We spent the evening eating hummus and pumpkin soup ( I LOVE AUSTRALIA BECAUSE THEY EAT PUMPKIN ALL THE TIME :) ) and watching the movie UP. So good. T. went to work and I went to bed. good relaxing day.
A few thoughts : So this is a pretty detailed account of my time so far. All and all I feel like life here is pretty similar to home expect more expensive for an American who got paid 8 dollars an hour in her previous job. Lucky for me I have amazing friends who really take care of me. So far every cab fare and food outing is a fight because I hate having people pay for me, but so far I have lost most of the battles. I feel extremely blessed as well because I can not imagine just winging it at hostels. I met one girl at the Sydney airport from FL who was doing just that. She had more experience than me but I feel like it's different than Europe. More spread out. More like the States and backpacking there isn't easy I would assume.
Everything is more colorful and people are stylish and alternative. I really like that. The two young married couples I have met with babies both sported tattoos of their daughters names on their arms or wrists. Different and pretty adorable at the same time. House music is everywhere and my sister would be so happy. I can't wait to buy some bright crazy dresses and go out dancing. :) I have plenty of time to do what I want and that is extremely liberating.
T.'s parents asked me what I missed about home and I couldn't say for sure. I find myself talking about my family and telling stories about my friends pretty often. So I am keeping you all alive each day and thinking of everyone at home. I do not feel lonesome or homesick and despite a few awkward comments from Doc and some of the work buddies about me and T.'s status as friends, everything feels really comfortable and normal. I am so blessed to have someone so devoted to making sure I get what I want from this experience. I do believe in fate, but I don't know how I got so lucky as to stumble upon this Australian network at camp and end up here. Everything seems easy and doable. Pretty inspiring and exactly the kind of brake I have been seeking. Time to relax, meet people, read books, and see new things. It's definitely not like Europe and a bit off from what I had imagined, but having no expectations I find leaves the door open for impressive experiences. I plan on having a few.
Lastly, the best thing I have seen so far:
It's a tie for first place.
1. a strange man outside of a college-looking bar (think an indoor Swamp or a larger Balls) dancing with large hand motions to the song playing inside, "Pour some sugar on me," with a huge grin on his face. They said he was homeless. I say he is living life.
2. Intelligent looking barefoot drifters playing on a nearly life sized chess board in the middle of the street sidewalk. So bohemian, but common place here.
Until next time, enjoy,
Natalie
Obviously I am having a bit of trouble keeping up with this whole blog situation. I apologize. I actually have not been online since the last Thursday when I landed. Recovering from jet lag (cough partying cough cough) has been brutal. I will give a quick summary of what has transpired so far:
Thursday: arrived in Melbourne, delirious and confused. The traffic, being completely opposite of the States, left me dizzy. My flight was fine apart from a two hour span on the tail end of the 16 hour long trans-pacific one. Word of advice: do not eat plane eggs and coffee in turbulence. Not fun. I met many interesting travelers along the way and found it comforting that all of them, like me, were traveling along. The first friend I made was about a 50 year old OBGYN of LA, I hung out with a Sydney native coming from the states, a 20 something Canadian backpacking around oz and looking for good weed, and then there was a young uni student of who spoke German, Norwegian and English. Cheers to interesting people.
Seeing C. in the airport was shocking. I nearly tackled her and T.. I settled into our little apartment here about 6 miles from the city. I keep calling it downtown and get into trouble. It's like new york. You call it The City. Anyways, it's a two bedroom apartment with grandma charm. Seriously I swear there is a grandmother store where all grandmothers go to collect trinkets to decorate their houses. I am reminded of my grandma Dodeeo's home except that the angels she collects are replaced by Jesus statues. Adorable.
Friday: After sleeping in five hour spurts and eating whenever I could not sleep (steak, pbj, other man foods), I decided I was feeling up to an adventure into The City. We took the tram, which was pretty exciting. I realized that going barefoot is pretty acceptable in the city and that many people homeless or not just seem to be casual about shoes. I started to worry because I was feeling sick and dizzy again, much like I did on that damned delta flight. I figured I was just hungry. We stopped at the square (I can't recall the name) where the Australian Open is being played. It was pretty cool to see the big screens showing the matches. I had a fabulous gourmet pizza and felt 10000x better. Back to my go-getter self again! YES! We wandered around the shopping centers and I felt really amazed by how little experience I have actually had in a real urban city.
I call this post my parallel universe for several reasons. Firstly, if I didn't know better and the accents were not so prevalent, I could easily believe I was in a dryer, browner, more euro-influenced city in the US. This first morning I had coffee, however it was made entirely differently ( hot water heater, instant coffee, whole milk, brown sugar). The final product tasted exactly the same but it contained completely different elements than my usual cup of joe. Strange yet pretty comforting. Another aspect of this universe is the people. My friendships with my camp friends seem as if we never left each other. Everything is so normal and happy. I am the only one that occasionally feels like I stick out for being the American. I guess I am used to being the Token after our trip to Miami. No worries.
Friday night we ventured to C.'s for a get together somewhat in my honor. We had a Barbi and beers, sat on the porch. and this kid names Amazing Tom showed my really superb magic tricks. Even as he drank, his tricks were flawless. I met all of C.'s closest friends and roommates and felt pretty at home. Seriously, could have been anywhere in the U.S. I find it pretty cool that most of them are either immigrants of more recent immigrants to OZ than people are here. It's like a younger America where many people are still linked by language or heritage to their roots, but yet fully Australian. We spent the night there for lack of transportation home and had to be up early for the CCUSA recruitment at the Hyatt.
Saturday: T.'s family friend A. picked us up at C.'s and brought us to the camp recruitment event. It was pretty amazing being in Melbourne yet surrounded by American accents again! We hung out with Doc, which for those of you from Pinewood know, is the head director of boy's hill. He is about 6'10 and really intimidating. I never thought he really liked me, however he was pretty cool outside of camp. Also I think he appreciated us coming to show our support and help him filter through people looking to work at camp next summer. Alix luckily got a job! She is really sweet and funny and will probably have the time of her life at camp. So after hours of strangely interviewing Aussies to do my summer job in the states, we escaped to an Asian bakery to refuel. Weird, yet delicious. We made our way home and barely had time to shower before we were expected at the family household. Talk about throwing me in head first. I litteraly met all of T. and C.'s local family and friends in one day. I survived though and actually felt really accepted and at home. T.'s house was really nice and an Arctic sanctuary to the full on Summer heat. I met his older brother, younger sister, mother and father, as well as some family friends who had an adorable 1 year old daughter. As promised, I think there was at least three types of meat served and I was offered beer about 4 times before I said ok. Lamb (which I refuse to eat), steak and chicken skewers. Amazing! They were very hospitable and hilarious. I swear they way the parents bicker with the two boys would make great reality tv but It's just how they communicate. As an outsider I just went with the flow, but they seem extremely sweet. The kissing on the cheek thing still throws me a bit. I am such an awkward anglo. The two dogs T. dyed when his parents were away are still partially green and pink. I tried not to laugh and encourage his bad behavior. His mum would not be pleased.
Next we headed to this place called the Belgian Beer Garden in the city. After a crazy ride in the family convertible (I of course braved it in the back), we came to this place that could definitely rival an outdoor frat party. People everywhere on a dirt covered field. It reminded me of an outdoor concert with no music. It was great and the people were all laid back. I was not IDed and people discreetly, yet openly, puffed away on joints. crazy.
I met all of T.'s guy friends from his old job and their wives and girlfriends. It was his friend M.'s going away because he is moving to Canberra for a new job. I only encountered one hater who supposedly had some jealously, among other mental, issues. Everyone else was welcoming and open to meeting this strange rando girl. We stayed for a few hours and then relocated the get together to M.'s house and sat of the porch. Luckily it cooled down a bit and he all had some exciting conversation. I felt like the odd one a bit and was worried about these girls, especially, being standoffish or reluctant to make friends. They were all really beautiful and had cool piercings and tattoos. They turned out to be really smart and interesting. We chatted about politics, American media, and they mercilessly gave T. shit for hanging out with me. I guess I am considered to be something of a novelty and a pretty cool girl. I did have to pass some tests though. One being that I was asked if i believed humans as they exist today were alive at the same time as the dinosaurs. I said no to my drunk inquisitor. She nearly hugged me and said "Yes, oh my gosh Americans aren't that stupid." Taking no offense I told her about the creation museum somewhere in the midwest that actually propagated that belief, but that most people are not that dense. We became friends. Once again I was surprised by how all of these people were very culturally diverse; Philippine, Macedonian, Greek, Chilean, Uruguayan, Croatian, and me the American. Obviously, I was enjoying the spectrum. I especially liked meeting Paula from Chile who had immigrated recently and learned an Aussie accent after she had had an American one for most of her schooling.
At around 5 am we finally got a cab. A stop at Mackers (McDonalds) was a great end to an eventful and long day. The prices there though, are seriously insane. At least the dining room is open 24 hours for drunk people. Fun fact: cops get free mackers to encourage them to stop by the joint and sorta offer some security. I guess it can get pretty wild.
Sunday: Waking up late was fabulous, but I began to get stressed. I had destroyed what little finger nails I had left. What the heck am I supposed to do here? I don't have a job and don't have any imminent homework to do! AH! I tend to freak out and go into depression in these conditions. I talked to T. for a while about this and we decided I needed to learn how to relax. I really don't know what he does when he's not working and seeing as how neither of us can currently drive ( him due to point collection on his license, me due to confusion and fear), i felt trapped. I made us breakfast (eggs and toast ) and we decided just to chill out and spent most of the day talking. It was really good. A bit later we walked down the road to the grocery store. His grandmother's house is an apartment in a government housing complex. Basically the ghetto, but also home to some yuppies who like to feel alternative. I totally dig the strange immigrant people and stray cats and dogs outside. Although, I was advised not to try to pet them, I still tried and failed. The store was a 5-10 min walk away and was surprisingly brand new and really nice. Probably nicer than publix at home. They sold netbook computers there and way better assortment of foreign and gourmet foods. It was fabulous. I really enjoyed shopping and T. found that funny because he does too. I think it's the fact that I feel like I am a little kid playing house. Maybe because I don't drive and don't yet have a job so I sorta feel like a lost little kid. But, then again I have a house and a roommate. Years of living at Dg have made me sorta useless and I like having to fend for myself a bit. I also liked stocking up some healthy foods. We spent the evening eating hummus and pumpkin soup ( I LOVE AUSTRALIA BECAUSE THEY EAT PUMPKIN ALL THE TIME :) ) and watching the movie UP. So good. T. went to work and I went to bed. good relaxing day.
A few thoughts : So this is a pretty detailed account of my time so far. All and all I feel like life here is pretty similar to home expect more expensive for an American who got paid 8 dollars an hour in her previous job. Lucky for me I have amazing friends who really take care of me. So far every cab fare and food outing is a fight because I hate having people pay for me, but so far I have lost most of the battles. I feel extremely blessed as well because I can not imagine just winging it at hostels. I met one girl at the Sydney airport from FL who was doing just that. She had more experience than me but I feel like it's different than Europe. More spread out. More like the States and backpacking there isn't easy I would assume.
Everything is more colorful and people are stylish and alternative. I really like that. The two young married couples I have met with babies both sported tattoos of their daughters names on their arms or wrists. Different and pretty adorable at the same time. House music is everywhere and my sister would be so happy. I can't wait to buy some bright crazy dresses and go out dancing. :) I have plenty of time to do what I want and that is extremely liberating.
T.'s parents asked me what I missed about home and I couldn't say for sure. I find myself talking about my family and telling stories about my friends pretty often. So I am keeping you all alive each day and thinking of everyone at home. I do not feel lonesome or homesick and despite a few awkward comments from Doc and some of the work buddies about me and T.'s status as friends, everything feels really comfortable and normal. I am so blessed to have someone so devoted to making sure I get what I want from this experience. I do believe in fate, but I don't know how I got so lucky as to stumble upon this Australian network at camp and end up here. Everything seems easy and doable. Pretty inspiring and exactly the kind of brake I have been seeking. Time to relax, meet people, read books, and see new things. It's definitely not like Europe and a bit off from what I had imagined, but having no expectations I find leaves the door open for impressive experiences. I plan on having a few.
Lastly, the best thing I have seen so far:
It's a tie for first place.
1. a strange man outside of a college-looking bar (think an indoor Swamp or a larger Balls) dancing with large hand motions to the song playing inside, "Pour some sugar on me," with a huge grin on his face. They said he was homeless. I say he is living life.
2. Intelligent looking barefoot drifters playing on a nearly life sized chess board in the middle of the street sidewalk. So bohemian, but common place here.
Until next time, enjoy,
Natalie
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
hope for the best, prepare for the worst, wind up somewhere in the middle
Happy Australia Day! So appropriate that today marks the start of a long, long journey. I expect to be highly delusional by the time I arrive, so please don't expect any thing brilliant being posted. Right now I am just hoping that my bags are not too heavy and that my soul remains light. I don't want to be weighed down with worry right now. No need for that. I sorta have this theory that if you keep going, walking, running or skipping... you can never feel too "settled." Not that this would be a bad thing in the traditional meaning of the word, but I am referring to the forced settling due to heavy baggage; the weights of the world, the woes and the worries. I would rather throw those out before I pass through customs.
My mindset is that I am feeling prepared for the unknown. A first for me. really. I have no nails left to bite and about 10 or so pounds of books to keep my mind occupied. yes! I think I will be just fine as long as I can convey to the airport employees that, while I may appear to be an adult, I am really one of those lost wandering children who gets stuck in the mall and needs an intercom announcement to find their way back to their guardian. Wish I had one of those. Oh well, I will have to wing it on my own. I will just live in the present and see where that takes me.
Thank you loving family and friends. You all are super and outstanding people.
Acceptance, Enthusiasm, Enjoyment,
Natalie
My mindset is that I am feeling prepared for the unknown. A first for me. really. I have no nails left to bite and about 10 or so pounds of books to keep my mind occupied. yes! I think I will be just fine as long as I can convey to the airport employees that, while I may appear to be an adult, I am really one of those lost wandering children who gets stuck in the mall and needs an intercom announcement to find their way back to their guardian. Wish I had one of those. Oh well, I will have to wing it on my own. I will just live in the present and see where that takes me.
Thank you loving family and friends. You all are super and outstanding people.
Acceptance, Enthusiasm, Enjoyment,
Natalie
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
One week until departure
Hello All,
Exactly one week from now I will be taking off from Orlando airport for a four month adventure. I am anxious, excited, and a bit apathetic. Perhaps this is because thinking of this upcoming week for the past few months has been emotionally draining. But then again, maybe I just am starting to believe and have faith. Taking a leap is never easy, but at least it can be fun.
Here are two great travel quotes I want to share.
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes"
Marcel Proust (French novelist and author 1871-1922
"The longest journey a man must take is the eighteen inches from his head to his heart"
Exactly one week from now I will be taking off from Orlando airport for a four month adventure. I am anxious, excited, and a bit apathetic. Perhaps this is because thinking of this upcoming week for the past few months has been emotionally draining. But then again, maybe I just am starting to believe and have faith. Taking a leap is never easy, but at least it can be fun.
Here are two great travel quotes I want to share.
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes"
Marcel Proust (French novelist and author 1871-1922
"The longest journey a man must take is the eighteen inches from his head to his heart"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)