3 de mayo 2012
I just celebrated one year in Panama. I never really considered how my life would look a year into this experience, how my daily interactions would be, what my food or home would look like, what I would look like, even. Nada. It’s surprising how much and how little has changed. I imagine I won’t know the half of how I have changed until I return home and take a glimpse at myself next to “integrated” Americans. I know I don’t worry about the things I used to and here I worry about things that would have seemed a bit crazy a year ago. If it rains too hard, will anyone leave their porch to come to an environmental volunteer meeting on time (aka, an hour late at best)? If my horse won’t climb this hill, and it comes to a battle of wills, will I be able to drag him up behind me? If one of my eco-stove bricks cracks, how much cow poop mix will save it? Will I ever have enough phone credit to call my grandma?
Having my amazing family members and family friends visit in March, which was amazing by the way, really allowed me to see how I have changed personally. My values, patience, and ability to sit and listen to others have been dramatically enhanced. I can give time and space to a person or situation like never before. I can respect my elders and admire hard-work. I see humility, grace and wisdom in others on a daily basis. I would call all of this a positive influence.
So personally I am very content. Sometimes I am lonely, but never alone. Sometimes I am frustrated that I can’t be “normal” or my interpretation of normal based on my cultural upbringing. It is difficult to have guy friends and sometimes people don’t take you seriously as a work partner because you are young and a woman. I have wished I could just take a night off and go out with my girlfriends in St. Petersburg and live the life I used to live without guilt or worry about how drinking a beer in public, or dancing too much would affect my image. Gossip is a plague of every small town.
On the other hand, the thought of being at home and being in the places I used to frequent remind me of the sinking feeling I often felt in times where I wasn’t quite sure in which direction my life was leading. Unfulfillment, an absence of community, a total disconnect from something greater than myself and my head. I know that wherever the future takes me, I want to continue doing work I believe in 100%. I envision myself striving to improve the world, understand its people and spark social change. Call my American, but my work is very much tied to myself identity and worth.
So what have I achieved (aka my community has achieved) as of late to make me feel so thankful and happy for my work in Panama? I will try to sum up major achievements in bullets, although it will be hard for me not to elaborate more. Maybe in a future post… (and apparently the pictures decided to add themselves here)
• We have started a semi-functioning environmental group in a community where groups come and go as fast as a good bowl of sancocho.
• My eco-stove marketing tactics have reached an estimated 500+ people directly or indirectly through extensive flyering and nonchalant chats, patio to patio.
• I saw transformational leadership occur at the Project Management Leadership Seminar Peace Corps professionals put on every year for volunteers and their work counterparts. My counterpart spoke in public (quite well actually) in front of an audience of 80 people for the first time in his 47 years of life. He also presented his artisan work, sold a few items, and received a HUGE boost in confidence from the experience. He started the week as my “brick-making guy” and ended it as my friend and teammate. He wants to plant trees along the watersheds of town and save us all from the ravages of excessive deforestation.
• We (brick guy/friend) successfully organized a 4-day work junta in late March to make over 400 bricks for 20 Tower Eco-Stoves that conserve firewood and produce less smoke than the typical stove made of two cement blocks. The fact that 4-5 people went each day to work in the heat without being paid was incredible. But it was actually a ton of fun and a great environment to talk about THE ENVIRONMENT. I also made an effort to invite women to participate (since they will be the ones benefitting the most from this improved cooking technology) and work side-by-side with the men and I. I took pictures and even showed them to other women who had doubts about their ability to do the work. “Hey if SHE can get ankle deep in a horse poop-dirt mix pool so can you” [think I Love Lucy and the grape squishing, but don’t worry dried horse poop doesn’t smell]
• We have now successfully built 9 stoves as part of the original pilot project group, one guy has made his own bricks and built 2-3 more and my stove-guy-friend is now getting contracts from other communities to build stoves for cash. CHING CHING!
• I finally had the guts to be the lead on a stove build and taught people with WAAAAAYYYY more building experience how it’s done. I should really practice construction vocabulary a bit.
• I have started my recycling education outreach efforts and have already had a few amazing classes in the school on such topics as renewable resources and nonrenewables, organic vs. nonorganic wastes, life cycles of different waste products, how long trash stays in the environment and the effects of certain everyday materials in our habitat, the 5R’s (reducir, reciclar, reutilizar, reparar, y rechezar – not sure what the last one means in English but it suggests that we should think about a product’s contents before we buy it and buy less plastic packaging if possible because it is harder to recycle).
• My kindergarteners are teaching their parents what we want to start recycling
• I have wowed people with my recycled (well reutilized) artwork and jewelry. I am personally very proud of my Peace Corps themed milk carton clutch purse.
• We have started seed collecting to reforest the most beautiful and most endangered wild area in town. My neighbors and friends told me it is best to plant fruit trees that give an abundance of shade because people will not cut them down for wood and they attract more birds and animals (REALLY?!!! YESSSSS!!!! ENVIRONMENTAL CONSCIOUSNESS!) The best part was that the majority of the seed collectors are 4th grade girls.
• My cat is pregnant and about to pop! Not an achievement but pretty interesting to watch her grow and grow!
• People are coming to ME with ideas
• I found two fantastic women to apply to a Healthy Women’s Artisan Seminar in July (hope they get accepted!)
• Gender and Development Youth camp has been rescheduled for June and I am going to be a facilitator! I will be co-presenting about self-esteem and self-image… goodness if only I could have a conversation with myself at any time in my life from age 12-20! I am sure being able to inspire young Panamanians will be very rewarding.
• I have my very own house and am learning to cook. My specialties so far include a very mean vegetarian chow mein with Thai peanut sauce and a jalapeño cheddar tuna quesadilla. I also recently attempted a spinach, goat cheese, sundried tomato quesadilla (Ciccio’s inspired) while in the city and it was fabulous!
• I started a recycling initiative while working as a maintenance volunteer leader at the pool arena during the Special Olympics Caribbean and Latin American Games 2012. I taught local high school volunteers about our mission and got them involved. We saved about 50-60 large garbage bags of plastic water bottles from destinations that would have included: dirty landfills, the ocean and burning. True behavioral change was observed with our bosses (Bank CEOS from Bano General) were making the effort to separate the bottles from the trash and agreed to bring the materials to the center. Turns out their business also encourages recycling… but the difference is actually doing it!
• I danced like a fool and made spaghetti and meatballs out of play dough with some of the most inspiring and fun Special Olympian athletes from 15 or so different countries. The Special Olympics are such an outstanding organization and I encourage anyone who hasn’t been to a practice or a world event to find one locally and go and meet the athletes and their families. AMAZING PEOPLE! Seriously, I met one swimmer from Honduras that spoke 2 languages and was learning 2 more. He had graduated from school and studied computer science. He loves Lincoln Park and Red Hot Chili Peppers. “Special” really takes on a whole new meaning. Oh yeah, he also won a gold medal in swimming on an international level. NO BIG DEAL
This is such a small highlight of events from life. I have chosen to focus on the work stuff, which is truly only part of the bigger picture of life. I hope everyone speaks with my family to hear their take on their trip! I also failed to mention how exciting Carnival (Panamanian Mardi Gras for 5 days) was with my fellow volunteers and new friends and that I am now scuba certified! My first dives in Isla Coiba national park included many 6ft sharks and sea turtles! Thanks to someone special for planning the trip and making our dream of diving a reality with me.
I love you all at home and think of you constantly!
XO y mucho cariño,
Natalie
